Argument : Is it worth winning!

Reader must not mistake debate as an argument. Debate is a broader form of argument and it is well organised but here I want to share our thirst on day to day argument and perception in its outcomes. Person in heat of argument will always tries to win as his/her belief overshadows wisdom. Why do we always ascertain that volume will succeed when science of reasoning won’t? I can assume that we all are on agreement that winning such argument always leaves a nexus in the relationship. It is also very difficult to draw a line where argument should freeze as there is no boundary in friendship. In contrast it becomes easier with strangers. If we happen to evaluate the situation in leisure then we will find ourselves always at losing end as we might have lost potential friend/well-wisher in stranger. For time being we can contend by saying that we don’t care stranger but life may have its own plans to arrange another meeting between both.

Cartoon source is internet. Not mine.

I am not suggesting that we should completely avoid argument but I am sure we all should not create it a prestige issue while putting our point of view. Argument is part and parcel of our life. We engage in several arguments with various people such as friends, Cousins, loved ones, spouse, parents, boss, colleague at work and strangers as well. Argument topics could be anything; I leave this to reader’s imagination. Everyone has interest in some subject/fields and when one happen to challenge the same from another angle it is the best opportunity for both parties to argue and sharpen/broaden the knowledge repository. I personally have lost few friends for sake of winning an argument but was lucky enough to gain them back when meeting them in different forum. May be we both realised that if we really want to part away then we can look for better reason rather for minor reason of argument outcome.  I realised that gaining them is more valuable in terms of moving ahead in life. It was not worth at all losing someone on argument behalf. This is also not a suggestion that we should compromise with our values just to keep our friends intact but we should not misinterpret argument outcome as our values. Friendship is something which is stronger than blood relation; it is only because part of our values system; character and a feeling of completeness is mirrored in another person who is called as ‘FRIEND’. So this relation should only get break when any of these parameters decline.

Our ancestor had told that person become mature in earning bread phase when he/she hits life reality. This is the phase where one’s wisdom is judged as it is broadly unwrapped from all sides. During this stage individual decisions are rarely challenged as it used to be during teenagers. Do you remember ‘As you sow, so shall you reap’ it means ‘something that you say which means everything that happens to you is a result of your own action. If we keep ourselves tied up for argument sake and busy handling its unpleasant consequences then we are missing lots of other opportunity which we might have created or grasped. We have heard Silence is golden but why we always miss an opportunity to apply it. Argument is best place to apply once you feel that you have put across your point politely and other party in no way inclined to accept then Silence is best medium to avoid aftermath consequence. You will soon realise that everyone is coming to a conclusion of some sort. But more we speak murkier it gets. Also it was rightly pointed by Thomas Carlyle ‘a man lives by believing something: not by debating and arguing about many things.’

Now another angle to look at argument is in form of constructive and destructive. If we are smart enough to judge the on-going argument status then it is win-win situation for all. However it is very hard to realise in middle of argument when to cease. From my past experience, what best I can suggest is to go in silence and listen to what other party is saying on culmination that no one is appreciating your view. You can pacify yourself with inkling that either you have piled up ideas which you can easily demolish with counter arguments (remember Edison quote from my previous blog Failure:What is it!) or you really have reaped some good points. In all ways you will be the winner. I remember a famous quote of Edward Koch ‘You punch me, I punch back. I do not believe it's good for ones self-respect to be a punching bag.’ Let’s not demolish our self- respect for argument sake.

Thank You!

Satender Kumar Mall

Twitter: satenderiiit

Job Threat : How much should we be worried!

Companies downgrading its work forces; thousand to lose jobs due to global recession; Pink slip talks; Thoughts of job threat give a sleepless night to many. What about those who face these entire factors all at the same time? I (it well include my colleagues) was lucky to face and fight out these entire factors at early phase of my career. Trust me it was lot exciting as I did everything except worrying about job threat.

Source: http://www.thedetail.tv

I remember the late winter month of January 2009 in India, Worlds great minds were worrying about recession and experts were pouring in their views about possible duration and its recovery. In all of these the industry I belong i.e. Information Technology (IT) was busy in cutting variable pay, freezing pay hike and promotions to make lot out of these situation. However let’s get back to business, I arrived Bangalore after spending a sort winter vacation from my village in northern India. I had wonderful 2 days journey of train, as I had made some good friends in train who were from my neighbouring country Nepal. As soon as I arrived at Yeswanthpur station, I was greeted with news that ‘Did you saw the news today! Satyam is in news for scam, our job is in threat’ from my friend who happen to call me since she was aware that I am arriving to Bangalore. Needless to mention that the period was of global recession; Job cut was on peak and recruitment was on decline. Hence the entire worst possible factors were on our side. In fact the news was not shocking to all Satyamites because we were receiving email notifications from our CEO’s & MD about failed business deals and corrective measure they are talking. Well the fact was that now we were working in a company where we were not sure at end of each month about our monthly salary. Let me clear your doubt that we did received our salary paid every month. Needless to remind about continuous downgrade/malpractices in our 4^th pillar of democracy i.e. Media.

Let’s jump to the excitement part to keep the motivation. When I arrived office for business as usual there I got chance to meet all biggies of our company whom I had never seen in last 2 year of my job except knowing them by name through the email we received on regular basis. Every day we get to see one or the other big personality who come to address or to be specific console us with message that ‘we are fighting back, soon things will be normal etc.’ Then in Feb 2009 comes the news that the client for which I was working has planned to shift to IBM. The reason they provided was ‘No doubt about Satyam resource capability but we have taken a hit in our north America business where IBM is helping us out.’ Now you will agree that these words were no anointment to our wound. Our project manager told us not to worry about this development and let’s focus on knowledge transfer (KT) to IBM. Do not take any decision of quitting company we will bounce back. First time daily Cab was assigned to us to travel to client’s ITPL office where both party will meet for KT. Hence in recession I was travelling in pick up cab unlike via crowded BMTC bus service of hay days. This continued for 2 months. After KT formality, I happen to see that most of the leaders who were advising us to stay have already boarded IBM boat to sail through this crisis. I declined to move to IBM. No offense to other who moved as I am sure they must have really strong reason compare to me. Client kept us for 2 month after the KT to sum up all kind of current business. During this time I happened to join Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP: an Indian nationalist party) IT cell to contribute in campaign for 2009 Parliamentarian election. Less/no pressure of work helped me to actively learn and meet people of Bangalore city and apprehend this garden city of India more closely. I tried hand on my cooking skill and used to bring different north Indian variety to lunch from my friend who stayed post KT saga.

 

All good things comes to an end so is the election joy, Cab ride, cooking and honeymoon period of KT. Satyam issued notice that as a part of iteration process they will be relieving people from job (pink slip talks) who are not in project for last three month. Lucky me I still had three month to go. Satyam was good place to stay but as reality check I brushed my java concepts and polished my resume (company had given me the tag of Java developer). With courtesy to my friends I managed to get 4 interview call arranged. Market was already flooded with Satyam resume and other companies were hiring us because we were the cheapest one in the lot. 1^st one I failed spectacularly, 2^nd one offered me the same salary as of Satyam (which was minus of variable pay from 6 months), 3^rd one I made them look miserable by passing their all rounds and rejecting their package argument that was less due to my company Satyam status. 4^th was CGI, pleasant company which honoured my knowledge and I their requirement.

So to justify my topic to my reader’s  i.e.  You, all I meant to say is our approach of looking at crisis should be different. Whatever is going to happen will happen, whether we worry or not. I found an opportunity in disparity. I learnt a lesson that one should always be loyal to work/skill not to a company. Many Java/.Net/DBA/Management gurus were thrown out of Satyam during crisis. So love your job and ensure you do not fall in love with company. Don’t blame company/managers for not providing an opportunity. As this will just create frustration among us and it will impact work which in turn impact our behaviour. Is this reason enough to change our character? Of course NO; Wake up and prove one by yourself. This experience helped me in resigning from CGI (to know more read my blog on Hesitation) in later part (though CGI was offering everything that one 3.5 year experienced engineer would expect) to pursue my career abroad. I also became longest serving college fresher who got his first promotion in 2012 in Accenture UK, whereas I joined IT in Oct 2006. But people will best tell you about my work and package with whom I have worked and currently working. When I look back to evaluate my life, I find it is as per plan and at par with current competition. Must listen to Steve Jobs 2005 Stanford university speech, what he has said when he was thrown out of his own company Apple. We are in 21^st century see below what Santi dev, 8th-century Indian Buddhist scholar at Nalanda University told “If the problem can be solved why worry? If the problem cannot be solved worrying will do you no good.

Thank You!

Satender Kumar Mall
Twitter: Satenderiiit

Solitude : A social pain!

Solitude most commonly termed as loneliness in our day to day vocabulary medium. A day can be termed as well spent if one has not experienced even a pinch of seclusion. Solitude is not a pain in itself but the form in which we receive makes the difference. If we define solitude in its best form then it is a state in which one is happy without being in company of any one. Solitude is best form of freedom one can ever achieve. But one should not strive to attain solitude for longer duration as there is high risk of solitude concept getting blurred to loneliness, hence the pain begins.

The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved. -Mother Theresa

We are living in universe of multi-billion people, ideally with this fact thought of being loneliness should never get invoke in our minds. But we are experiencing just the opposite. In today’s world millions lives in loneliness or ultimately give up as they could not cope with it. Let’s try and find out what form this loneliness exists and how one gets into this marshy land. Is there any self-mechanisms exists to get out of it? To try and name few forms of loneliness caused due to extreme emotional stimulation; social segregations; too fast rise in status via inappropriate means; and most common is due to character swap. These causes are the creation of loneliness wall which builds around you in place of bridge which symbolizes togetherness. Obviously there are many more form/reasons you have in your minds which I would love to see in comments section if you happen to read this blog. Among the mentioned few origins most common according to me is character and status reversal. We also cannot deny that the lifestyle we are striving for is also a silent contributor to loneliness. From India point of view, we are rapidly moving toward nuclear family system unlike previous joint family system. Even though this remodelling is reasonable with valid/justified reasons such as economic or behavioural/attitude changes to glorify this diversification. But a fact is that human being is getting physically and mentally isolated from their loved ones with the passage of time. Now this separation can be termed as temporary by inference with availability of all other modern communication technology means to keep in touch and feel like home though not physically available. I am in no sense justifying that current is not good compare to later but to do justice with the topic I need to bring all possible contributor of loneliness.

All forms of lifestyle are good and valuable when in good time. But emptiness becomes our unwanted guest in bad times. That’s where we start feeling the needs for our relations, friends and loved ones. The hurried expansion of concrete jungle is sign of our development but the way it is happening or should be happening is something to worry about.  We have to brood over the by-products it is generating such as sense of individualistic, solitude in multitude, we know thousands of people across the world by internet but unaware of our neighbour, we reserve our courage to stop nonsense happening at street but actively gather for candle march. Honour for wealthier one who has zero character value but no time for watching street plays message. Concrete jungle is full with ideas of generating wealth but none to suggest what’s the right path is. All the above expositions clearly suggest that self-mechanism is missing to get out of loneliness.

Human is social animal and it needs another human to help him/her look beyond its minds. When one grow high in status due to unsocial means always end up in emptiness in due course of time. Climbing high should not be your destination but it should be just one of the goals because if you become too ambitious then there will be no one among your loved ones except clam loneliness to appreciate you for getting there. Read about famous ‘mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee’ tale. And Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

We can best avoid loneliness by being in company/close to of our loved ones as they will never let you fall prey of malpractice and thought of your love toward them will keep you safe from misbehaviour/misdeed. Hence you would have firm control on character and status rise. Thus end up spending life as well spent life along with pleasure available in this universe.

Thank You!

Satender Kumar Mall

Twitter: satenderiiit

Failure : What is it!

Dictionary meaning of failure are ‘someone’s failure to do something’ or ‘facts of someone not having done something’. It is also termed as unsuccessful. For all of us failure is nothing new. Large section of people sees failure as something bad. We have one life to shine/achieve/attempt/fall/rise in our dream goals. We cannot consider ourselves incapable but surely we can anticipate on our unsuccessful attempt and re-frame the path or the goal to dilute the pain of repeat failure. Top of this we should also learn from other mistakes.

Pass/fail and success/unsuccessful are different names of result one get for his attempt. All of us know that result is something which is not in our hand/control. Then why these people who dare to attempt are more criticised compare to those who have never made attempt. Let’s find out who consider himself/herself so symbolic to criticise the darer’s lot. Where do they exist? Answer is simple these symbolic people exists in our society, it is between one of us. It may be within us as well to some context. I am saying so because if we blame society then we need to ponder what does society comprises of? Therefore we will finally zero down to ourselves. The ghost who hunts down people with failure lies within us. So the change should start from us. In coming days we will be representing the society which always get blame for hardening its stand on failed endeavour. Constructive criticism is beneficial as it helps in improvement but an allegation in criticism is not healthy.  

The great achievers such as Gautam Buddha (spiritual teacher), Thomas Alva Edison (an American inventor and businessman), Jamsetji Nusserwanji Tata (an Indian industrialist), Dhyan Chand (The Wizard of Hockey), William Shakespeare (an English poet and playwright), Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel (Indian Politician, Iron Man of India), and Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple) to name few are inspiration to many. One thing what is common among them according to me is that surely they would not have cared for society allegations when they went ahead to achieve the unachievable in their life. Also they were a common man like one of us. I am sure readers have lot of different view/comment/prospective on this topic so I personally request if you happen to read this blog put your point of view in comments section so that this topic can touch its completion. The new reader will surely get more insight then I am currently with.

It is not easy to bring change in society to soften its destructive criticism but a change in each individual can help thoroughly rub the strident rock. Everyone praises the achiever and of course I agree that they are meant to be honoured for their achievements but we cannot be miser in use of our vocabulary for those who resolute. Let’s see from another angle from gain/loss which is easy to understand in this era, about the gain we have by shedding our mentality of viewing attempter as loser. First and foremost gain is that our society will be enriched from positive thinker who believes in trying/doing new things. Fresh air of motivation will be pumped in this era of competition. We will have no loser. We will be helping humanity who has lost hope of trying due to intense fear of result and its aftermath mental consequence. It is human nature who has transformed our society of wisdom to society of competitions/innovations and finally to society of wealth generators. So we the youth of 21^st century can take lead to transform our society to society of enthusiasm. I welcome you all to suggest better name of society in comments section. At present I can think of enthusiasm because it will lead to equal opportunity and a step towards equality which is largely missing in this wealth generator society.

To end my note I would like to quote Edison view on failure ‘I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Thomas A. Edison. Surely this line will keep inspiring us to TRY.

 Thank You!

Satender Kumar Mall

Twitter : satenderiiit

Hesitation : Its effect on our life!

Click below link to read BLOG Hesitation : Its effect on our life!

http://satenderiiitblog2.blogspot.com/

Networking and Project entry: Benefits and Drawbacks

Click below link to read the BLOG:  Networking and Project entry: Benefits and Drawbacks:

http://satenderiiit.blogspot.com/